Perspective

I spent 5 days and 4 nights with my daughter at Children’s hospital. One day and night in the Emergency department, and the rest in a ward. Thankfully, we were able to avoid ICU, which was the initial plan.

Hospitals are strange places, and I think Children’s hospitals are even stranger. Most people you see walking around hospitals are either staff or family/friends of people who aren’t well.  There aren’t many “happy” reasons to be in a hospital, especially one without a maternity ward.  Almost all of my previous hospital experience was for the birth of my three children, so mostly positive experiences.

This was different.  That first night we were in, the night where they were still throwing scary numbers and outcomes at me, I finally was able to walk away for a few minutes to find something to eat. It was around 7pm, and I had been on the go/not eaten since 8. I walked down to the cafeteria, found some food, and then really looked around. It was quite quiet, but there were quite a few bleary eyed parents sitting at tables. At one table, a couple sat staring off into different directions, stirring coffees. At another, a woman was texting. A man was buying a variety of snack food at the cash, and trying to balance a small child with a handful of chip bags.

Over the days we were in the hospital, I tried to be aware of other parents. Talking to some, as the situation presented itself, giving a wide berth to others as it seemed appropriate. I had a few conversations with other mothers at various points, and the question always came up “what are you here for?”  It was during one of these conversations, around suppertime, in an elevator, that I said for the first time out loud “my daughter is diabetic, and she came in with really out of whack sugars”.  By that point, Sunday night, she was doing much better, and it was clear that we were going to be going home sooner rather than later. Then I asked the mom the same question. Her son was sick, and I won’t say how or what to prevent sharing a story that isn’t mine to share, but her little guy has a much longer road to walk to get healthy.

By the time all of my daughter’s iv lines were removed, and she was no longer connected to anything that beeped, whirred, or blinked, it almost felt like we were out of place. She was laughing, we could snuggle on her bed, she had enough energy to engage in conversation again, and she almost seemed like herself. We were starting to have fun together, despite the frequent  glucose testing, vitals checks, and visits from doctors and nurses.

The days we spent in the hospital were long, but they were just a blip on the radar for some families. I overheard one father at the Starbucks kiosk talking about how they had been staying in the city with friends for 3 weeks while their daughter was in treatment. Another mom told me about the hours they have had to drive to visit their child. As disruptive as this stay was, we were only 40 minutes drive from home. Our daughter got well enough to release quickly, and we weren’t far from home, and for that I am very very thankful.  Managing a chronic condition, while a new challenge, is very different from a severe illness or trauma.

Keeps things in perspective.